In one form or another fear shapes who and how we are. Or, put another way, where we have not experienced love from conception (yes, that’s conception) we are left fearful and we defend against the source of the fear, the consequences of the fear and the felt emotions arising from that fear.
Our innate need is to have relationship: our ways of being and individual selves are shaped from conception by our experience of relationship; that experience is what fires our neurons and their synaptic connections and results in our experience of life and what in effect is normal. If we have no template, at conception and birth, of what to expect other than an expectation that fear will be responded to, and if it is not then impotent rage results, then all we can feel comfortable with is our experience. Experiences that can all too often distort our behaviour and prevent us from becoming the person we were truly born to be.
The damage that is done not purely to the individual but also to society of the infant that does not experience good enough love is difficult to exaggerate. The feelings that shape our adult behaviour start from conception.
Read more at www.cheltenhamcounsellor.co.uk.