Some of us suffer from addictions, some of us may be prone to uncontrollable outbursts of anger, some of us may be compelled to deceive and betray.
The question to my mind is why? This question can be interpreted as a simple ‘why can’t they not be like this’. The deeper question is the ‘why’ that is in fact a ‘how’: how does someone become like this. Many of us faced with the consequences of destructive behaviours may fall in to the trap implied by the first why, the trap of judgement. I am reminded of the line in the bible when Jesus says to the crowd about to stone the adulteress: ‘Let he who is without sin cast the first stone’…and the crowd melted away.
There are many different aspects to all of us; arguably we are all more or less flawed. It is tempting to pass judgement on another that does not fit in to our own or society’s preferred standards. Once upon a time we were all a freshly born bundle of potential that needed all the input and responsive love that was required to fire up that potential, to provide comfort and security, to become able to trust others and to value ourselves.
The addicts and the angry, the deceivers and betrayers, the thieves and bigots, were all once like us. Who were the ones who were let down? Who were the ones who were left so damaged and hurt? When we judge we become those deserving of judgement. Compassion is essential for all those who hurt. Sometimes this may include the perpetrator. Generally effective help can be provided from counselling and psychotherapy.
We are all what our early life made us. For more information please visit my website: https://www.cheltenhamcounsellor.co.uk.