– The healing power of relationship
My counselling philosophy is founded on a belief in the healing power of relationship. A belief that emotional, psychologically based, suffering can be healed by an appropriate therapeutic relationship.
A relationship that is compassionate; non-judgemental; empathic; open; honest and trustworthy. A belief that is evidenced by neurobiological research on the response of our neural pathways to a different relational experience.
An experience that can move us from anxiety and fear to confidence and fulfilment.
– Understanding your infancy
When we feel that we cannot cope with life for whatever reason, at whatever age it is usually a result of a relationship / relational environment that has let you down.
When a child is born it is vulnerable. It only knows fear and for a very good reason; without fear our pre-historic brain would not have responded to threat: our survival chances would have been very low.
New born babies need comforting. A consistent and positive relational experience that is responsive to the babies’ physical and emotional needs. They are not born with the benefit of experience; their only experience of life comes from the response that they receive.
If a baby does not receive that comfort in the form of a positive responsive love, then fear and lack of trust can remain in later life. Our infant growing brains respond to the love and comfort which lays down our neural experience and expectation of and for life.
– Understanding your adulthood
As adults we can feel more or less secure and find ourselves affected (to a greater or lesser degree) by our experiences. It may be that our early life left us well equipped to deal with later life.
However, for some reason current experience is leaving us shaken and doubtful. The neural pathways continue to regulate us based on past experience and present environment. The brain while significantly shaped in early life continues to register and retain experience.
– A safe environment
The counselling relationship is intended to enable a different experience and to create just that safe environment. This may have been absent in the past or is now missing in the present.
This different experience, research shows, will create a more certain inner world for you to be the person you want to be. To feel comfortable being, and to be who you truly are. This could include a more existential ‘meaning of life’ exploration if that is helpful to you.